Dear RDH,
Listen... I get it.
I woulda, coulda, shoulda... If only I had known...
Common phrases we say inside our heads daily, right?
When I was a dental assistant back in the 1990's, I'm pretty sure I worshiped our dental hygienists in our practice. They were smart, never complained, and to be quite honest, they made dental hygiene look easy and fun.
After graduating hygiene school in 2002, my first office experience in the real world would last about 2 months.
I worked for a DDS who was very demeaning, with a smile, if you know what I mean. I "should have" known something was hiding underneath the surface when a patient told me that he wasn't going to bother learning my name because I wouldn't be there for his next appointment, just like all the other hygienists before me... and that was on my first day of working there.
Luckily, my best friend and office manager at another practice wanted to add another hygienist and I was an easy in for them, and me!
During my 10 years at that practice, overall things really were amazing. Great DDS, and a staff that was a team in the truest sense.
But... something was shifting in me.
Often, I found myself questioning our chosen profession.
"Should" I have picked a different career?
"Should" I have focused more on what I felt guided to do (which was to teach) instead of what seemed more financially secure?
"Should" I go back to school?
"Should" I just accept that this was what I chose to do?
"Should" I give up even trying?
Right now some of you totally get what I am saying...
ITS YOU who I write this for!
This is what I want to share with you.
Because I began questioning everything, literally everything, my reality of the world I thought I knew, was shifting in a BIG way. I was questioning my family system, my belief system, societal beliefs, our government, my form of elementary and secondary education, my religious beliefs, the Universe, myself!
I was experiencing a spiritual awakening on every level.
I want to share the beginning steps in how I handled it.
5 Ways to stop "shoulding" on yourself
1. Breathe. Release and let go. Get simple. Don't overthink. Easier said then done, I know. Think back to who you were when you made the decision to go to school for dental hygiene. You may not even be that person anymore. We change, we evolve. When you "should" on yourself, you are doing so from the place of all the things you know now, but didn't know then. You made the best decision for yourself at that time. Accept that, and then, if you choose, began to make new decisions with where you are now and where you want to go.
2. Listen to your intuition. Your inner knowing is your guide, transferred to you from your "Higher Power/Divine Source/God/ Universe (whatever name you refer to). Journal your thoughts so that you become more conscious of your inner dialogue. Over time (or maybe even right away) you can begin to write yourself questions, and then allow your intuition to answer those questions.
For example:
Question 1. Why did I think I would be happy in this profession?
Sit with your silence and see what comes up, then write that down.
Answer: _____________________.
3. Complete your "should" belief with a new thought... Don't allow your "should" to be a complete sentence. What I mean is this... You're dealing with an annoying patient and you hear your inner voice say.. "Why did I choose this profession? I "should have" picked something else, anything else other that this!
Follow the statement with -- but because... and for now....
COMPLETE this with a new thought....
I "should have" picked something else, anything else other that this... but because I chose to make a difference in oral health for the public, for now I will accept that some people have good days and bad, and this patient must be having a bad day, its not about me.
The point here is to turn a negative feeling and thought into an empowering one. When we feel empowered, the stress and demand that dental hygiene has over us begins to feel a little lighter.
4. Explore your interests deeper, or figure out what they even are. We love having hobbies but no one has time for them, especially when we are burned out. This is the very reason you NEED them. If you don't know where to start, start with this. In your journal begin to write down action words that you resonate with.
Here is an example of some of mine to help get you started...
teach, inspire, guide, write, create, organize, coach, mentor, connect, empower, delegate..
After understanding what it is you feel drawn to (which may take time so be patient with yourself) only then can you begin to deepen your exploration of what these words actually mean for you and how you want them to guide you on your path.
5. See your "shoulda-woulda-coulda" as a sign instead of a curse. As I mentioned earlier, you are not the same person today, as you were when you chose the profession of dental hygiene. Ease up on yourself, and instead see this time as an opportunity. When you begin to feel like you've made wrong decisions, all it means is that it is time to make new ones. Its really that simple.
Your path is there, waiting for you to see it
NEED MORE HELP?
In 2011-12 I became a Certified Transformational Life Coach, and began coaching women who wanted to create change in their lives. In 2017 I wrote and self published on Amazon a book titled SACRED REBEL, along with a 6 week online course called SACRED REBEL RISING
Every couple of years I offer LIVE group coaching with this course to women. Because of so much discontent I see among our fellow dental hygienists, I have decided to discount this course for HYGIENISTS ONLY from $197 to just $97!
In this 6 week experience, we will meet on Zoom and you will be joined with other dental hygienists who feel just as you do, but WANT to empower themselves and create change in their lives.
Are you tired of complaining and feeling the life being sucked out of you?
If you answered yes, then make the decision to finally create change in your life!
You are the only one who can hold youself back
or propel yourself forward.
ONLY 10 RDHs will have the opportunity to participate
Be 1 of 10 now!
Click the link below to read more about the SACRED REBEL RISING 6 WEEK COURSE.